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The 83rd annual IOU Awards promises to be the biggest celebfest of the year. Annually the ceremony is presented by the Academy of International Movies and Other United Stuff (IOU), and honors the best of the best. This year’s event will be held at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood, California. All of the beautiful people will be in attendance this evening, dying for their chance to shine on the red carpet. However, tonight the carpet will not be the only thing that runs red…
Beth Davidson: British born and theatrically trained box office queen. Nominated for Best Actress, opposite Eduardo Tome. She and Joan Crawfish have a long running, and very public, feud. The two are well known for pulling dirty tricks on one another, most recently, Joan seducing Eduardo away from Beth.
Cameron James: Nominated for Best Director, his third, against his now ex-wife, Kathy Lipton, who he has always referred to as “his muse.” Their recent divorce revealed he found his inspiration from more than one muse—Kathy was not a-mused.
Miss Cordelia Smythe: Known the world over for her movies, her diamonds and her marriages, she is a living Hollywood legend. Nominated for Best Actress, she is escorted by her current husband, Conrad Ellington, III, who was also nominated by the academy for this year’s Best Screenplay.
Conrad Ellington, III: His father, Conrad Ellington, Jr., was a multibillion dollar hotelier who was tragically murdered at the family vacation home in Martha’s Vineyard when Conrad was away at college. The Ellington fortune was left to the only heir, Conrad the third. He is presently Cordelia Smythe’s husband–number six. He has been nominated by the academy for a Best Screenplay IOU.
Detective Phillipa Cannon: Homicide detective with the Los Angeles Police Department and self-proclaimed #1 Fan of Cordelia Smythe.
Eduardo Tome: Nominated for the Best Actor award, opposite Beth Davidson. Currently married to Joan Crawfish, handsome and debonair with a sexy accent, however not the brightest bulb on the boulevard.
Ernie Flynn: Best known for his action hero movies, he’s quite the swashbuckler. He was also Cordelia’s first and fifth husband, and is father to her three children. Though he has always been a popular leading man, he is finding it increasingly difficult to break free from type casting, and his roles are becoming fewer and farther between.
Imia Toole: Daughter of Uri Toole and Shirley Reynolds. A struggling actress and writer, she will be a presenter with her father, Uri Toole, in tonight’s award show. She is currently dating Sparky Summers.
Joan Crawfish: Dubbed “the sexiest woman in Hollywood,” and the arch nemesis of Beth Davidson. She was discovered by director Cameron James while working at a Hollywood soda fountain. Eduardo Tome is her main squeeze, for the moment anyway.
Rock Hardde: Nominated for Best Actor–his second IOU Award. His first award for “Nefertiti” was with Cordelia as his leading lady. Their on screen romance soon ran over to off screen, however, when the film wrapped Rock went home to his wife. Cordelia attempted suicide, stating she “couldn’t live without him,” and once the affair was public knowledge, he and Cordelia married. They divorced six months later, only to immediately re-marry. Their second trip down the aisle lasted just two months, making Rock Cordelia’s husband number four (a) and four (b).
Shelley Wiley: Personal assistant to Miss Smythe for the past 15 years. Devoted and long suffering, efficient and pretty-but not too pretty. She has kept Miss Smythe from self-destructive behaviors, held her finances in check, scooped her off the floor and checked her into re-hab more times that she can count!